This has been a really good week. Just one of those weeks where some really good things happen. I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was that was making this week so good until I was sharing it with a friend. “Teachable moments,” she said. “It sounds like your week has been full of teachable moments .” She was exactly right.
There was a teachable moment when I gave the girls in my class a card, thanking them for caring enough to ask me what was making me stressed last week and wanting to make me smile. I could tell that they were honored to receive the note, and I could just sense that my relationship with them had somehow gone a little deeper. They were seeking me out a little more at lunch, just to talk or laugh or be with me. I realized the importance of honesty – they were able to see me as a real person, with weaknesses and shortcomings, and it's a really freeing thing to know that there are other people in the world who aren't perfect.
There was a teachable moment when my class left a chapel that focused on teamwork, in which they'd done an amazing job of working together, encouraging one another, and helping one another, and then immediately got into an argument with one another in the hallway. I talked with them about it and then they wrote a journal about what they thought were their strengths and weaknesses when it comes to teamwork. Most of them seemed to know themselves well, and they were ready to admit their struggles. I've even seen them making an effort to do better, and to really treat one another with kindness, respect, and most of all, brotherly love.
There was a teachable moment in Bible class, when suddenly Paul's letter to the Ephesians connected directly to their struggles, questions, and challenges. As much as I wish that would happen in as deep a way every week, I know it's the work of the Holy Spirit to fit together circumstances in daily life in such a perfect way to prepare our hearts to truly receive God's truth.
There were teachable moments for me, too. There were days when I knew God was asking me to turn over my worries and anxieties to Him. There were moments when I was reminded that I am responsible to plant seeds, but only God can bring the harvest. He allows freedom of choice, and I need to allow it, too. There were times when I was just thankful to be here, right now, doing this, because I know it's exactly where God wants me. He creates the teachable moments, and I know He will keep on teaching me.
1 Cor 3:6, "I planted, Apollos watered, but it is God who brings the increase."
Ecc. 3:1, "There is an appointed time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven."
1 Pet. 3:15, "Always be ready to give an answer for the hope that you have."
Monday, February 23, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
What's wrong?
"What's wrong, Miss McIntyre? You look so stressed." I looked down at three concerned faces, and I smiled to think that these girls in my class cared enough about me to want to know why I was troubled. The problem is, I didn't realize that I was stressed.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Well," Sachiko began, glancing at Mana for confidence. "I, I mean, we, can just tell that something's really bothering you today. You look really stressed. I mean, you don't have to be really excited all the time or anything, but today it looks like something is really bothering you. I hope we don't do anything to make you frustrated today."
I was touched but also saddened by their comments. If I'm supposed to be a leader and an example of what it means to live life full of the joy of Christ, shouldn't I have a smile on my face more often? I mean, I've had days where I've been frustrated, to be sure, but I really didn't think today was my worst. Yet, here they stood, wanting to know what was going on. What did that mean for the days that ARE my worst? I don't want my class to live in fear of a frustrated explosion or worried that they are stressing me out. I want to have time for them. I want them to know that I love them and care for them, and that I want what's best for them. Yes, I need to teach them certain things by the end of the year but that should never replace being someone they can look up to. In the words of Bobbie Houston, whose book about leadership I am currently reading, I want those in my sphere of influence to see so much good in me (through Jesus) that they say, "I'll have what she's having." The fact that these students thought I looked stressed on a day that I didn't know I was stressed communicated one thing to my heart: you have failed.
Later on, as I shared this with a close friend and we prayed together, she reminded me that we are human and people will see our weaknesses and failures. Yes, we will sin. Although we should try not to sin, what matters most is how we respond to sin, weakness, and failures. We cannot be perfect, and we need to allow others to see that we need Jesus to help us through this life. People may say, "I'll have what she's having," but it's no fun to be around someone that isn't real and pretends they are perfect and have it all together.
Turns out, there were a bunch of little things that had added up to make me stressed that day, even though I didn't realize it until those precious girls said something. I had taken on burdens and it wasn't really helping anything to worry about those things all day long. I was worrying, when I should have been praying.
No, I don't want them to see me stressed or frustrated (especially because then I'm even more likely to sin in what I say or do), but in a whole year of teaching 9 students, it's pretty tough to avoid. Not every day will be a good day. Still, I hope that this can turn into an example of "casting my cares" on Jesus, and then allowing them to see that He is able to be our strength and help and hope and joy. It's not just me - it's Him. More than saying, "I want to be like her," may they realize, "Oh, I need Jesus just like her. Maybe He'll be enough for me, too."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Well," Sachiko began, glancing at Mana for confidence. "I, I mean, we, can just tell that something's really bothering you today. You look really stressed. I mean, you don't have to be really excited all the time or anything, but today it looks like something is really bothering you. I hope we don't do anything to make you frustrated today."
I was touched but also saddened by their comments. If I'm supposed to be a leader and an example of what it means to live life full of the joy of Christ, shouldn't I have a smile on my face more often? I mean, I've had days where I've been frustrated, to be sure, but I really didn't think today was my worst. Yet, here they stood, wanting to know what was going on. What did that mean for the days that ARE my worst? I don't want my class to live in fear of a frustrated explosion or worried that they are stressing me out. I want to have time for them. I want them to know that I love them and care for them, and that I want what's best for them. Yes, I need to teach them certain things by the end of the year but that should never replace being someone they can look up to. In the words of Bobbie Houston, whose book about leadership I am currently reading, I want those in my sphere of influence to see so much good in me (through Jesus) that they say, "I'll have what she's having." The fact that these students thought I looked stressed on a day that I didn't know I was stressed communicated one thing to my heart: you have failed.
Later on, as I shared this with a close friend and we prayed together, she reminded me that we are human and people will see our weaknesses and failures. Yes, we will sin. Although we should try not to sin, what matters most is how we respond to sin, weakness, and failures. We cannot be perfect, and we need to allow others to see that we need Jesus to help us through this life. People may say, "I'll have what she's having," but it's no fun to be around someone that isn't real and pretends they are perfect and have it all together.
Turns out, there were a bunch of little things that had added up to make me stressed that day, even though I didn't realize it until those precious girls said something. I had taken on burdens and it wasn't really helping anything to worry about those things all day long. I was worrying, when I should have been praying.
No, I don't want them to see me stressed or frustrated (especially because then I'm even more likely to sin in what I say or do), but in a whole year of teaching 9 students, it's pretty tough to avoid. Not every day will be a good day. Still, I hope that this can turn into an example of "casting my cares" on Jesus, and then allowing them to see that He is able to be our strength and help and hope and joy. It's not just me - it's Him. More than saying, "I want to be like her," may they realize, "Oh, I need Jesus just like her. Maybe He'll be enough for me, too."
Sunday, February 8, 2009
January's Update
Like all of us, I am on a journey. My journey this January has been significantly impacted by a book called Walking with God by John Eldredge. I'd like to share with you a quote that has been especially poignant for me, and how this reality has shaped my January.
"Intimacy with God is the purpose of our lives. It's why God created us. Not simply to believe in him, though that is a good beginning. Not only to obey him, though that is a higher life still. God created us for intimate fellowship with himself, and in doing so he established the goal of our existence--to know him, love him, and live our lives in an intimate relationship with him." (Walking with God, p. 12)
I have been learning (re-learning?) that this intimacy means involving God in the tiny details of my life and in the big decisions. It's a high privilege we have of having God of the Universe wanting to speak to you and offer you his guidance, and yet so often I have neglected to listen to Him or obey Him. This even comes down to who I turn to first when I encounter problems -- do I cry out to go or do I go crying/whining to the closest human being I can find? This Friday night I was frustrated about a phone call I'd received. I immediately thought of friends I could talk to, and yet I heard a voice inside saying, "Talk to Me first." I know that friends are important, and that God uses them many times to speak to us, but they can't become a substitute for His friendship. But I knew this was the Holy Spirit calling me to pray. Instead, I started walking to the door so I could go downstairs to talk to my friends. Again at the steps, I heard God say, "Talk to Me first." I said a quick prayer but didn't listen for what He would say back, and then continued down the steps. Again as I stood in front of their door, I paused and thought, "I should go pray about this first." And then I rang the doorbell and we talked. It was good and helfpul, but I came home knowing that my choice was disobedient to my Father's call. It was showing that I do not truly believe that God is ENOUGH for me, nor that in daily reality is He the "best friend" I claim He is. Best friends call best friends first. I am humbled that Jesus even wants that kind of relationship with me, and I am thankful for His forgiveness and grace when I make mistakes, and I am honoured to be learning to step into the reality of intimacy with Him more fully.
The beauty of this intimacy is when I DO listen and obey, and then see a greater glimpse of what God is doing. Thankfully, that didn't take long. The next morning, I woke up and immediately thought of my list of things to do that day. One of them was talk to my parents on MSN Messenger, and I decided to do that right away. As I sat down at the computer, again I heard "a little voice inside" saying, "Don't call now. Wait." I wasn't sure, so I signed in, but still felt that now was NOT the time to be doing this. So, as soon as the computer signed me in, I clicked the little "X" and signed out. I went to do my grocery shopping, unsure why I shouldn't have called but wanting to be obedient this time. When I returned home, I went to sign in again and this time felt peace. It felt "right" this time. I came online and chatted briefly with my mom, but she wasn't feeling well. What was more important was that a friend who I haven't had a good chat with in a while was online, and I could tell within a few moments of our conversation that it was going to be an important one. My mom went to bed, and I continued talking with my friend for almost 2 hours (while grading exams). The conversation was truly a "heart to heart," and I know we were both tremendously blessed by it. As we ended our talk, I knew that THIS was the reason I had to wait to call my parents. God was "setting this up." If I hadn't listened, I would have missed it. I'm so glad I didn't.
Another way that God has blessed me in this is in making my "quiet times" a more real connection with Him, instead of just Bible reading because it's the thing Christians are supposed to do every day. The Bible is God's written word to us, but I believe He wants to take that written word and make it come alive each day. His Word has been coming alive often this week as I follow John Eldredge's advice to simply stop and ask God, "What would you have me read today?" After all, Jesus is my Shepherd and it's His book, so why not lead Him lead to me to the very word He has for me for this day? As I have done this for the past couple of weeks, the Lord has brought many different Scriptures to mind. For some, I understand their relevant message right away. For others, it doesn't become clear until later on, but at least I know this is a "low risk" way to practice listening to God's voice. Whatever I read in this Book will ultimately be His words anyway. Still, I have found that when I give Him the chance to speak and to guide my Bible reading, He usually does. Two weeks ago it was John 10, "I am the Good Shepherd...I know my sheep and my sheep know me...they will listen to My voice." When I was striving to "make a difference" for God it was John 15, "I am the vine and you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." When I was stressed about grading exams, it was Isaiah 40:29, "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak." Yes, He does!
If what I am saying confuses you or intrigues you or excites you, I encourage you to read the book Walking with God and find out for yourself. These are realities that I have known before but I have not walked in for a long time. But it is a very sweet thing to be "walking with God" like this once again, and going deeper than before.
Yes, there are a lot of other things that have been going on this January, but here's a few highlights:
- my class was preparing for and writing final exams, which brings added stress but I'm very proud of them.
- there were some new decisions made about next year's high school which make me even more excited about staying.
- I've started studying Japanese again and a big milestone was successfully making a hair appointment in Japanese (rough, but sucessful!).
- I'm continually challenged by teaching the Bible to students, Christian and non-Christian, because I want them to KNOW God through the Bible but it needs to be taught in a way that is relevant and understandable for them. I find that hard to do, so please be praying that God will help me do that well.
- We had a very refreshing night of worship with friends just last week, which was a great mix of prayer, singing, and loads of laughs
- But most exciting - my brothers have posted their music on MYSPACE with their band "Finding Forever." It's definitely worth listening to! www.myspace.com/wearefindingforever.
Have a blessed day, and let me know how you are doing!
His,
Stephanie
"Intimacy with God is the purpose of our lives. It's why God created us. Not simply to believe in him, though that is a good beginning. Not only to obey him, though that is a higher life still. God created us for intimate fellowship with himself, and in doing so he established the goal of our existence--to know him, love him, and live our lives in an intimate relationship with him." (Walking with God, p. 12)
I have been learning (re-learning?) that this intimacy means involving God in the tiny details of my life and in the big decisions. It's a high privilege we have of having God of the Universe wanting to speak to you and offer you his guidance, and yet so often I have neglected to listen to Him or obey Him. This even comes down to who I turn to first when I encounter problems -- do I cry out to go or do I go crying/whining to the closest human being I can find? This Friday night I was frustrated about a phone call I'd received. I immediately thought of friends I could talk to, and yet I heard a voice inside saying, "Talk to Me first." I know that friends are important, and that God uses them many times to speak to us, but they can't become a substitute for His friendship. But I knew this was the Holy Spirit calling me to pray. Instead, I started walking to the door so I could go downstairs to talk to my friends. Again at the steps, I heard God say, "Talk to Me first." I said a quick prayer but didn't listen for what He would say back, and then continued down the steps. Again as I stood in front of their door, I paused and thought, "I should go pray about this first." And then I rang the doorbell and we talked. It was good and helfpul, but I came home knowing that my choice was disobedient to my Father's call. It was showing that I do not truly believe that God is ENOUGH for me, nor that in daily reality is He the "best friend" I claim He is. Best friends call best friends first. I am humbled that Jesus even wants that kind of relationship with me, and I am thankful for His forgiveness and grace when I make mistakes, and I am honoured to be learning to step into the reality of intimacy with Him more fully.
The beauty of this intimacy is when I DO listen and obey, and then see a greater glimpse of what God is doing. Thankfully, that didn't take long. The next morning, I woke up and immediately thought of my list of things to do that day. One of them was talk to my parents on MSN Messenger, and I decided to do that right away. As I sat down at the computer, again I heard "a little voice inside" saying, "Don't call now. Wait." I wasn't sure, so I signed in, but still felt that now was NOT the time to be doing this. So, as soon as the computer signed me in, I clicked the little "X" and signed out. I went to do my grocery shopping, unsure why I shouldn't have called but wanting to be obedient this time. When I returned home, I went to sign in again and this time felt peace. It felt "right" this time. I came online and chatted briefly with my mom, but she wasn't feeling well. What was more important was that a friend who I haven't had a good chat with in a while was online, and I could tell within a few moments of our conversation that it was going to be an important one. My mom went to bed, and I continued talking with my friend for almost 2 hours (while grading exams). The conversation was truly a "heart to heart," and I know we were both tremendously blessed by it. As we ended our talk, I knew that THIS was the reason I had to wait to call my parents. God was "setting this up." If I hadn't listened, I would have missed it. I'm so glad I didn't.
Another way that God has blessed me in this is in making my "quiet times" a more real connection with Him, instead of just Bible reading because it's the thing Christians are supposed to do every day. The Bible is God's written word to us, but I believe He wants to take that written word and make it come alive each day. His Word has been coming alive often this week as I follow John Eldredge's advice to simply stop and ask God, "What would you have me read today?" After all, Jesus is my Shepherd and it's His book, so why not lead Him lead to me to the very word He has for me for this day? As I have done this for the past couple of weeks, the Lord has brought many different Scriptures to mind. For some, I understand their relevant message right away. For others, it doesn't become clear until later on, but at least I know this is a "low risk" way to practice listening to God's voice. Whatever I read in this Book will ultimately be His words anyway. Still, I have found that when I give Him the chance to speak and to guide my Bible reading, He usually does. Two weeks ago it was John 10, "I am the Good Shepherd...I know my sheep and my sheep know me...they will listen to My voice." When I was striving to "make a difference" for God it was John 15, "I am the vine and you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." When I was stressed about grading exams, it was Isaiah 40:29, "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak." Yes, He does!
If what I am saying confuses you or intrigues you or excites you, I encourage you to read the book Walking with God and find out for yourself. These are realities that I have known before but I have not walked in for a long time. But it is a very sweet thing to be "walking with God" like this once again, and going deeper than before.
Yes, there are a lot of other things that have been going on this January, but here's a few highlights:
- my class was preparing for and writing final exams, which brings added stress but I'm very proud of them.
- there were some new decisions made about next year's high school which make me even more excited about staying.
- I've started studying Japanese again and a big milestone was successfully making a hair appointment in Japanese (rough, but sucessful!).
- I'm continually challenged by teaching the Bible to students, Christian and non-Christian, because I want them to KNOW God through the Bible but it needs to be taught in a way that is relevant and understandable for them. I find that hard to do, so please be praying that God will help me do that well.
- We had a very refreshing night of worship with friends just last week, which was a great mix of prayer, singing, and loads of laughs
- But most exciting - my brothers have posted their music on MYSPACE with their band "Finding Forever." It's definitely worth listening to! www.myspace.com/wearefindingforever.
Have a blessed day, and let me know how you are doing!
His,
Stephanie
Missions as Fasting
The pastor of my church here in Japan was invited to speak at John Piper's pastor's conference, called "Desiring God." It's a really great message and I hope you are inspired when you listen to it.
http://www.desiringgod.org/Blog/1624_missions_as_fasting/
http://www.desiringgod.org/Blog/1624_missions_as_fasting/
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