New Year's Day arrived with a special gift in Nagoya: a few centimetres of snow to frost rooftops, treetops, and bicycle seats. :) I know for many of you reading this, snow is no big deal, and I understand why: it comes all the time, it means cleaning off the car and slower driving, and it brings with it all sorts of inconveniences. But it's a big deal for me. This is the first time that I have seen Nagoya with snow after living here for two and a half years (it came a few other times, but I happened to be away). As I sit cozied up in my living room looking out over white powdered rooftops, I can't help but smile. I love snow. I love how it covers the ordinary and the ugly, making it beautiful. I love how it falls, gently swirling in the sky, and I love a good snowball fight (even though I usually lose!).
I also love snow because it makes me feel like I am home in Canada. It seems like God has given me special graces for my first Christmas away from home – I was able to visit a friend from home in Australia, I travelled to the north island of Japan and felt “real winter” just after Christmas, and when I returned to Nagoya it started snowing, so I got to have a snowball fight and wake up to a white world. To me, each of these are precious gifts from my heavenly Father.
Given my love for snow, it's no wonder that when I heard Chris Tomlin & Audrey Assam's new Christmas song called “Winter Snow”, I loved that, too! I hope you'll take a few moments to listen to it because it's simply beautiful.
As I reflected on the words to the song, I gained a new appreciation for snow: it's a beautiful picture of how Christ entered the world at His birth. Just as the Lord says through the prophet Isaiah, “Here is my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen one in whom I delight; I will put my Spirit on him, and he will bring justice to the nations. He will not shout or cry out, or raise his voice in the streets. A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. In faithfulness he will bring forth justice; he will not falter or be discouraged till he establishes justice on earth. In his teaching the islands will put their hope” (Isaiah 42:1-4, NIV). Jesus did come to make bring justice on earth – to establish His kingdom. But He didn't come “like a roaring fire” or “with all the strength of a hurricane.” He was born quietly in a stable, His birth announced to shepherds and sought by a few wise men from a distant land. He didn't change the world by force, and some might even say He didn't change the world at all. After all, there is still poverty and injustice and sickness and death. But I know that He came to establish His kingdom in hearts that would receive Him, covering the ugly and the ordinary and making it beautiful. He is also waiting patiently for the day when He will return and establish His kingdom in all its fullness. When that day comes, it won't be like a winter snow, where you wake up and notice the world has changed and you didn't even know it was snowing. It will be much more like a roaring fire or a hurricane that time, as Jesus himself says, “At that time the Son of Man will appear in the sky, and all the peopls of the earth will mourn. They will see the Son of Many coming on the clouds of heaven, with power and great glory. And he will send his angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of the heavens to the other” (Matt. 24:30-31). Jesus follows these words with a warning to “keep watch” and “be ready”. He did come once like a winter snow, and I am so grateful for His mercy and grace in doing so – giving us an opportunity to turn from our sin and be made righteous in Him. One day He will come with the strength of a hurricane, and I pray that many will be found ready for His return.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Hong Kong - The Details
Ever since this summer when God filled my heart with compassion for those who are enslaved, I have been searching for my role in fighting slavery. As I planned my trip to Hong Kong, I was hoping God would speak to me more clearly about that. I saw my trip as a type of “pilgrimage.” I was going to set aside time to seek God's will and direction, taking time to sit at the House of Prayer while visiting Hong Kong. I didn't know whether I could even really spiritualize a vacation like that, but I figured it couldn't hurt to spend time praying. It even seemed like God confirmed that idea of this trip as a “pilgrimage” when He directed me towards Psalm 84, “Blessed are those who dwell in Your house, they are ever praising you; blessed are those whose strength is in You, whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.” My time at the House of Prayer was nothing less than a God-encounter: a surprising collision with His supernatural power. He convicted me of sin, drew me into intimacy with Him, and spoke to my heart about many things. It seemed that God was honouring this 'pilgrimage' – a physical journey to reflect a spiritual hunger for God.
I want to share some excerpts from my journal that day with you. Some of this God spoke as I was reading a book I found at the House of Prayer called Red Moon Rising, which tells the story of how the current 24-7 prayer movement began. Other parts I sensed His Spirit whisper to me as I sat in His presence while the worship played around me, and the rest is taken from the message of encouragement spoken that evening at the House of Prayer.
I share this with you for a few reasons. One is because I keep reading Psalm 107 that says, “Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story.” It's a way of giving thanks to Him, of remembering what He has done, and of giving Him the honour that He deserves. Another reason is because I hope to provoke you to holy jealousy. I hope as I share these moments of intimacy with my Father, you remember that the same intimacy is available to you. He has no favourites, and He is waiting for you to come to him. So, if you read this and think, “I wish God would speak to me like that,” then take that thought and turn it into a prayer. Ask God to reveal Himself to you in a deeper way. Seek Him. Don't let that thought become resentment in your heart for how God isn't speaking to you. God promises that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him. Finally, I share this with you as a reminder that sometimes God does supernatural things in surprisingly natural ways. There is no doubt in my mind that this was an encounter with God through the power of His Holy Spirit, but as I rewrote this I realized how 'normal' it could all seem: reading a book and having words or phrases stick out; listening to music and having a few lines resonate in your heart; hearing a word of encouragement at church and knowing certain lines are just for you. The Holy Spirit does this stuff all the time. What made this day so unique was how much it was happening. That's why I say it was like God clicked “download.” I pray that you are able to read this with eyes of faith, instead of thinking that I'm crazy for believing God actually talks to me like this. :)
FYI – My thoughts/prayers are in italics from now on. Anything significant that I felt God was saying is written in bold. Any extra explanation is written in regular font.
My prayers as I sat in the “Prayer Chamber” :
Jesus, I believe in You and I will go to the ends of the earth for You
Give me an undivided heart, that I may fear Your name
Teach me Your ways, Oh Lord, and I will walk in Your truthful.
Purify my heart's desire; I long to be Your servant.
Jesus, be Lord of my whole heart,
Set me free from a spirit of fear and anxiety.
Increase the river of Your presence.
What is on Your heart? What is on Your heart for me tonight, Jesus?I received no immediate answer, but soon picked up the book that I had found called Red Moon Rising.: Several lines seemed particularly relevant:
“Prayer has the power to undermine any ideology that oppresses.”
As I walked through Hong Kong, I had been thinking about how the great extent of oppression stems from people's attitudes and thinking towards wealth. I knew it was a problem, but I didn't know how to fix it. Here, I found the answer.
Let justice roll down like a river,
And righteousness like a never ending stream
“In the company of Christ, the ugly become beautiful and classroom cowards become the bewildered heroes of His Kingdom.”
And a little child shall lead them...
“Jesus warned us that the upwardly mobile middle class would always find it extremely hard to receive Him.” And so Japan is no surprise to You, Lord.
I continued reading about the power of prayer, and how it was the driving force behind every revival. This quote seemed particularly relevant, given my burden for slavery and how God had used William Wilberforce's story to inspire me earlier this summer:
“Out of that second great awakening (which began with prayer) came...the abolition of slavery, popular education, Bible societies, Sunday Schools, and many social benefits.”
The abolition of slavery began with prayer the first time; it will be so again.
I have been praying for weeks now, asking You to show me my part in the abolition of slavery, since it so disturbs me now. I carried a burden, but I didn''t know where to go or what to do. It's slowly becoming clear to me that my part in loosing the chains of the oppressed begins with prayer: seeking Your face for their freedom. My heart is becoming settled and at peace with this.
Help me take these longings to Your throne,
And respond to the burden for the weary by praying for refreshment.
That times of refreshing may come.
Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
You will show us the way.
Lord, I bring so many burdens and a heart filled with sin, and still You bid me come. You invite me to Your inner chambers. You stretch our Your rod to me and somehow I have found favour in Your sight. My heart is full and You are the fuel. You will bring change, for this is Your world.
As I listened to the speaker bring a message of encouragement at an evning session, I wrote down the parts that caused my hurt to burn within me. Most of the time, the Holy Spirit reminding of things He had spoken to me earlier and confirming that I really had heard from God.
Keeping the Sabbath: To work and have a return comes from the grace of God
This connected with what I read in Ezekiel earlier that day, where I noticed that the Lord was so committed to rewarding His servant that He would go to great lengths to see it accomplished. I do not need to fear. I can trust in His grace to reward those who diligently seek Him.
“Should I not be concerned for Hong Kong?” (This was the main Scripture passage for the message, taken from what God said to Jonah about Ninevah. I couldn't help but remember the time that my friend said to me, “I think China is your Ninevah.” He said this because I had complained about living in a city, saying that I wanted to be able to view God's creation. He challenged me to value God's highest creation (people) more highly. I'm not sure about the full significance of this, but maybe I will end up in China one day. Only the Lord knows for now.)
Intercession is “For such a time as this.”
This connected with the story I had been envisioning earlier as I prayed about God's “rod stretched out” and finding favour in His sight. I could see myself as Esther, coming before the king, and here was that story again.
He sees the darkness and sin, He knows the state of the city
He's heard the cry of the weak and oppressed
But He is rich in mercy
You've carried the burden and been pricked by the issues, but should He not be concerned?
You see the wealth and the oppression it has brought, but let Your prayers for this city be love. The Lord is a compassionate and gracious God. Jesus is in love with this city. He can barely contain Himself to break in.
This really connected with me because for the past two days I had been walking around Hong Kong and becoming burdened for the city, seeing evidence only of the oppression that comes with riches. It was overwhelming to me, and this message contained the answer – once again.
It is wisdom to stand in the place of intercession, though it may seem like foolishness.
This connected because throughout the day I was wondering if I had been wasting my time. Many times I wonder, 'Is prayer really that powerful?' But it is, and I always need to remember that it is.
You are the greatest politician when you pray.
This made me think of the story of Esther again! Also, a few years ago God spoke a similar word to me, saying that when I bring my requests to Him, whether they be great or small, it is like bringing them before the Prime Minister or the King. It might be a small amount of time spent asking, but there is great power in the one I am speaking with!
Stay steady. Do not grow weary. Remember, praying is relationship – talking with Jesus. Posture your heart to be talking to Jesus.
Feast on the knowledge of God. Let that fuel your intercession.
I had been meditating on Isaiah 55:1-2, which says, “Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost. Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and you will delight in the richest of fare.” Also, I have often felt weary about the burdens of intercession, and this seemed to carry the answer. Remembering God's great power is the solution for not becoming overwhelmed by the burdens.
Don't let your frame be crushed under the needs of intercession.
God is able and He has inclined His ear to you.
He acts on the cries of His people.
My human frame can't handle the burdens, but as I meditate on God's power and His heart for the weak, now I am confident that in an instant He can open prison doors and set the captives free. He doesn't need my anger or my activism.
Finally, the Holy Spirit spoke these words to my heart:
As you consider all of the traffic (human trafficking), remember who is the Cop.
I was filled with hope, refreshment, and a sense of purpose. I believe God is calling me to a lifestyle of intercession, not simply a passing interest in prayer. With His great power and a little bit of faith, mountains move.
He stood and shook the earth
The Lord looked, and made the nations tremble.
Let each intercessor find their reward in You. You are our portion; You are our shield.
So that's what God spoke to me while I was at the House of Prayer. That's why I will always remember this trip to Hong Kong, and why I wouldn't trade that day for any sightseeing or cultural experiences. If you've made it this far with reading, then THANK YOU! I hope it was an encouragement to you, and I look forward to reading or hearing YOUR story one day!
I want to share some excerpts from my journal that day with you. Some of this God spoke as I was reading a book I found at the House of Prayer called Red Moon Rising, which tells the story of how the current 24-7 prayer movement began. Other parts I sensed His Spirit whisper to me as I sat in His presence while the worship played around me, and the rest is taken from the message of encouragement spoken that evening at the House of Prayer.
I share this with you for a few reasons. One is because I keep reading Psalm 107 that says, “Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story.” It's a way of giving thanks to Him, of remembering what He has done, and of giving Him the honour that He deserves. Another reason is because I hope to provoke you to holy jealousy. I hope as I share these moments of intimacy with my Father, you remember that the same intimacy is available to you. He has no favourites, and He is waiting for you to come to him. So, if you read this and think, “I wish God would speak to me like that,” then take that thought and turn it into a prayer. Ask God to reveal Himself to you in a deeper way. Seek Him. Don't let that thought become resentment in your heart for how God isn't speaking to you. God promises that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him. Finally, I share this with you as a reminder that sometimes God does supernatural things in surprisingly natural ways. There is no doubt in my mind that this was an encounter with God through the power of His Holy Spirit, but as I rewrote this I realized how 'normal' it could all seem: reading a book and having words or phrases stick out; listening to music and having a few lines resonate in your heart; hearing a word of encouragement at church and knowing certain lines are just for you. The Holy Spirit does this stuff all the time. What made this day so unique was how much it was happening. That's why I say it was like God clicked “download.” I pray that you are able to read this with eyes of faith, instead of thinking that I'm crazy for believing God actually talks to me like this. :)
FYI – My thoughts/prayers are in italics from now on. Anything significant that I felt God was saying is written in bold. Any extra explanation is written in regular font.
My prayers as I sat in the “Prayer Chamber” :
Jesus, I believe in You and I will go to the ends of the earth for You
Give me an undivided heart, that I may fear Your name
Teach me Your ways, Oh Lord, and I will walk in Your truthful.
Purify my heart's desire; I long to be Your servant.
Jesus, be Lord of my whole heart,
Set me free from a spirit of fear and anxiety.
Increase the river of Your presence.
What is on Your heart? What is on Your heart for me tonight, Jesus?I received no immediate answer, but soon picked up the book that I had found called Red Moon Rising.: Several lines seemed particularly relevant:
“Prayer has the power to undermine any ideology that oppresses.”
As I walked through Hong Kong, I had been thinking about how the great extent of oppression stems from people's attitudes and thinking towards wealth. I knew it was a problem, but I didn't know how to fix it. Here, I found the answer.
Let justice roll down like a river,
And righteousness like a never ending stream
“In the company of Christ, the ugly become beautiful and classroom cowards become the bewildered heroes of His Kingdom.”
And a little child shall lead them...
“Jesus warned us that the upwardly mobile middle class would always find it extremely hard to receive Him.” And so Japan is no surprise to You, Lord.
I continued reading about the power of prayer, and how it was the driving force behind every revival. This quote seemed particularly relevant, given my burden for slavery and how God had used William Wilberforce's story to inspire me earlier this summer:
“Out of that second great awakening (which began with prayer) came...the abolition of slavery, popular education, Bible societies, Sunday Schools, and many social benefits.”
The abolition of slavery began with prayer the first time; it will be so again.
I have been praying for weeks now, asking You to show me my part in the abolition of slavery, since it so disturbs me now. I carried a burden, but I didn''t know where to go or what to do. It's slowly becoming clear to me that my part in loosing the chains of the oppressed begins with prayer: seeking Your face for their freedom. My heart is becoming settled and at peace with this.
Help me take these longings to Your throne,
And respond to the burden for the weary by praying for refreshment.
That times of refreshing may come.
Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
You will show us the way.
Lord, I bring so many burdens and a heart filled with sin, and still You bid me come. You invite me to Your inner chambers. You stretch our Your rod to me and somehow I have found favour in Your sight. My heart is full and You are the fuel. You will bring change, for this is Your world.
As I listened to the speaker bring a message of encouragement at an evning session, I wrote down the parts that caused my hurt to burn within me. Most of the time, the Holy Spirit reminding of things He had spoken to me earlier and confirming that I really had heard from God.
Keeping the Sabbath: To work and have a return comes from the grace of God
This connected with what I read in Ezekiel earlier that day, where I noticed that the Lord was so committed to rewarding His servant that He would go to great lengths to see it accomplished. I do not need to fear. I can trust in His grace to reward those who diligently seek Him.
“Should I not be concerned for Hong Kong?” (This was the main Scripture passage for the message, taken from what God said to Jonah about Ninevah. I couldn't help but remember the time that my friend said to me, “I think China is your Ninevah.” He said this because I had complained about living in a city, saying that I wanted to be able to view God's creation. He challenged me to value God's highest creation (people) more highly. I'm not sure about the full significance of this, but maybe I will end up in China one day. Only the Lord knows for now.)
Intercession is “For such a time as this.”
This connected with the story I had been envisioning earlier as I prayed about God's “rod stretched out” and finding favour in His sight. I could see myself as Esther, coming before the king, and here was that story again.
He sees the darkness and sin, He knows the state of the city
He's heard the cry of the weak and oppressed
But He is rich in mercy
You've carried the burden and been pricked by the issues, but should He not be concerned?
You see the wealth and the oppression it has brought, but let Your prayers for this city be love. The Lord is a compassionate and gracious God. Jesus is in love with this city. He can barely contain Himself to break in.
This really connected with me because for the past two days I had been walking around Hong Kong and becoming burdened for the city, seeing evidence only of the oppression that comes with riches. It was overwhelming to me, and this message contained the answer – once again.
It is wisdom to stand in the place of intercession, though it may seem like foolishness.
This connected because throughout the day I was wondering if I had been wasting my time. Many times I wonder, 'Is prayer really that powerful?' But it is, and I always need to remember that it is.
You are the greatest politician when you pray.
This made me think of the story of Esther again! Also, a few years ago God spoke a similar word to me, saying that when I bring my requests to Him, whether they be great or small, it is like bringing them before the Prime Minister or the King. It might be a small amount of time spent asking, but there is great power in the one I am speaking with!
Stay steady. Do not grow weary. Remember, praying is relationship – talking with Jesus. Posture your heart to be talking to Jesus.
Feast on the knowledge of God. Let that fuel your intercession.
I had been meditating on Isaiah 55:1-2, which says, “Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost. Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and you will delight in the richest of fare.” Also, I have often felt weary about the burdens of intercession, and this seemed to carry the answer. Remembering God's great power is the solution for not becoming overwhelmed by the burdens.
Don't let your frame be crushed under the needs of intercession.
God is able and He has inclined His ear to you.
He acts on the cries of His people.
My human frame can't handle the burdens, but as I meditate on God's power and His heart for the weak, now I am confident that in an instant He can open prison doors and set the captives free. He doesn't need my anger or my activism.
Finally, the Holy Spirit spoke these words to my heart:
As you consider all of the traffic (human trafficking), remember who is the Cop.
I was filled with hope, refreshment, and a sense of purpose. I believe God is calling me to a lifestyle of intercession, not simply a passing interest in prayer. With His great power and a little bit of faith, mountains move.
He stood and shook the earth
The Lord looked, and made the nations tremble.
Let each intercessor find their reward in You. You are our portion; You are our shield.
So that's what God spoke to me while I was at the House of Prayer. That's why I will always remember this trip to Hong Kong, and why I wouldn't trade that day for any sightseeing or cultural experiences. If you've made it this far with reading, then THANK YOU! I hope it was an encouragement to you, and I look forward to reading or hearing YOUR story one day!
Setting Captives Free
You know when you're surfing the web and find a file you want, so you click “Download” and wait ever so patiently while the papers fly from one filing folder to another? When it's finally done, you can open the file and see what it's all about. That's how I'd describe my afternoon and evening at the House of Prayer in Hong Kong yesterday. I was surfing on God's internet, and suddenly He clicked “download” and started speaking to me so fast and furiously that I filled 7 pages in my journal within a few hours. With each word, my heart was burning and I felt like the disciples on the road to Emmaus (Luke 23) – so certain of these words' importance and yet somehow blinded to their full significance. Some of the things He spoke to me are clear, and others I think will have to wait until, as each season unfolds, God clicks “open” to those files in my life.
Within a few moments of entering the House of Prayer, I was moved almost to tears by a sense of God's presence. I had been so thirsty for an outpouring of His Spirit in my heart like this for many weeks, and it was as if God was saying, “Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters, and you who have no money, come, buy and eat!...Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and you will delight in the richest of fare” (Isaiah 55:1-2). That verse held special meaning for me because just the day before I had joined a friend for Afternoon Tea at the Intercontinental Hotel overlooking Victoria Harbour. It was a new and unusual experience for me, but the flavours of the sandwiches, scones, and perfect desserts gave me a whole new understanding of what the “richest of fare” actually tastes like. I wished each flavour could linger in my mouth forever, and yet knew that the next one would be just as delicious. Unfortunately, those flavour lasted only a moment. Now, here I was at the House of Prayer, and God was again redefining my ideas about “the richest of fare” – this time with something eternal. I was drawn in to the atmosphere of worship that had been established in this place, and God drew me into some precious moments of intimacy with Himself.
But this is not where the story begins. To fully explain the importance of this time with the Lord, I must go back to July of this year, to Miller Lake Camp, to a time of listening to teaching called “The Dream Giver” and asking God to clarify the call He has placed on my life. At that time, God placed the nation of India on my heart. I remember drawing its outline in my journal (and I'm not usually an artist) and writing the words, “Freedom for the captives” over its image. In that moment and throughout that week, I carried a burden for those who are oppressed – not just in India, but in every nation. At another time that week, I could literally see in my mind's eye a young woman who had been taken and was being used and abused as a sex slave. I put myself in her shoes and thought, “If I was her, I would want someone to come and rescue me.” And so, I have carried this burden for those who are burdened, especially men, women and children who are enslaved around the world. God clarified my vision that week – it became a burning desire to “set captives free,” just as Jesus declared in Luke 4. I didn't know what form that would take, but God's call was confirmed when I went home and my mom “just happened” to give me the book Amazing Grace. It tells the story of William Wilberforce, a man of God who worked and prayed for the end of the slave trade in Great Britain 200 years ago. I was inspired to believe that slavery could also end today – impossible as it may seem, with God all things are possible.
A sense of peace and purpose had settled into my heart after this time at Miller, but questions remained: How do I do something a problem this big? Where do I start? What part do I play? I decided learning was a good place to start, and so I started investigating online. The only website I'd heard of on this issue was “Stop the Traffik,” and so I started there. I don't think it was any accident that on my first visit to that site I stumbled into the “newsroom” and this headline caught my eye: “24-7 Prayer Movement Commits to a Prayer Vigil for Stop the Traffik”. As I read this, something resounded in my heart to say that, “Yes, this is the answer. Prayer is what will move these mountains.” But I kept exploring and kept learning – to inform my prayers, but also to see if God would show me anything more about what to do. I have spent the last few months reading and wondering, and occasionally praying about this topic. I waver back and forth between activism and ineptitude – feeling useless and unable to make a change. Still, I carry this burden and have a sense that God is calling me into something deeper in this global issue.
I carried this question to Hong Kong: “What's my role in all of this?” I have had much time to explore the Scriptures on this issue of slavery now, and am amazed by how often God set Himselfs up as the “defender of orphans and widows.” He desclares Himself to be the one who brings “freedom for the captives” and offers “release to the oppressed.” I have become increasingly aware that this battle is not mine, it is the Lord's. I have also been given the book Not for Sale (another NOT random gift), and the first few chapters tugged at my emotions. The last one I read enraged my spirit. It described a spiritual ceremony that a group of sex slaves was forced to participate in before a night of “work,” offering their bodies to a totem pole. The women who told this story after being freed admitted that even if they could have escaped from their human master, they were afraid of the evil spirit that was also involved. As I read this story, I saw clearly the spiritual forces of evil that are behind sexual sin, the sex trade, human trafficking, and every form of oppression. I recognized that this battle was not against flesh and blood, but against principalities and powers. Our weapons are not of this world, but are supernatural. One of our key weapons is prayer – not weak, hopeful prayers, but strong, confident prayers of faith that invite God's kingdom to come to earth and His will to be done here as it is in heaven.
What I knew in my head for a very long time was soon to become an experience of my heart. On Saturday, November 14, I spent some time praying with an older sister in Christ. We hadn't met to pray for big issues in the world, but instead, to pray through some issues in my heart. For many years (almost as long as I can remember), I have constantly compared myself to others. If I saw something they were doing and admired it, I would immediately try to figure out how to be like them. I remember being at a slumber party in 7th grade, where a bunch of my friends were putting on makeup and doing their nails. I hadn't had much interest in that kind of stuff before, but I realized in that moment that “everyone else” knew what they were doing, and I didn't. I felt so foolish and was angry that no one had taught me this important thing about life. I felt like I should have known, but I didn't. On the other hand, sometimes I would know what I was doing and I'd feel confident about it. Since school came easily to me, I would often pridefully compare my own work to others' and congratulate myself on a job well done. That was the story of my life, in countless circumstances: “I don't know, so I must not be good as others,” or, “I know, so I must be better than others.” Never was I satisfied, and knowing that God commands us not to compare ourselves with others (Gal. 6:9) only did a little to alleviate my struggle – sometimes it increased it because I would feel bad from comparing myself to others and feel worse from condemnation because I HAD compared myself to others.
I have believe that Jesus came to set us free, and that He is able to change me and make me “whole and holy” (in the words of John Eldredge). This sister was meeting with me to pray for truth to be revealed to my heart, not just my mind, and to see His truth “set me free.” We talked and prayed for most of the afternoon, and the Holy Spirit worked in an amazing way to reveal truth to my heart. I confessed my sin of pride and honestly poured out my anger at “not knowing” to Jesus (who knows everything and therefore should have filled me in one some of these important things!). In that time of prayer, the Holy Spirit showed me that I needed to surrender my “need to know” to Jesus. I did, and then He also asked me to surrender my “checklist” of things I knew I could do well – the ammunition for judging others. I did, and then the Holy Spirit put a picture in my mind: I was like a little girl, and Jesus was carrying me. He told me as He carried me that all I really needed to know was His love. That's why He didn't tell me all the rest – about how to put on makeup so others would accept me, about how to say the right things or have the right attitude so I wouldn't ever be awkward or embarrassed – those things weren't important. What was important, and still is, is knowing with confident assurance that, no matter what, I am loved. This made so much sense to me – Jesus' love is more than enough. I don't have to strive for attention and approval because my King and Dad already loves me with all His heart. His eyes are on me. Just as He appeared to Hagar in Genesis and said, “I am the God who sees you,” He said to me, “I am the God who sees you.” In the picture of the little girl in my mind, I could see her wanting to be free and dance with joy, but she was still a little bit afraid. She was afraid of not knowing what to do, but also of losing this love that she had found. But as she looked into Jesus' eyes and saw the depths of His love, she gained confidence to step out and dance. She was timid at first, often looking back to see if He was watching. Of course, His gaze never left His precious daughter, and His eyes met hers each time she glanced His way. The more often she saw the love in His yes, the more confidence she gained until gradually she was dancing freely. I realized that this little girl was me: I had been timid and afraid, but I could be confident in His great love for me. His love had nothing to do with my skill – with how well I was dancing or whether I knew the steps – and everything to do with His grace and mercy. In this way, God spoke to me and set me free from fears that had held me captive for such a long time. I had been a slave to this, and God set me free.
I don't believe it was any accident that later on that same day, I had my first opportunity to speak publicly about God's desire to set the captives free. Slavery has so many forms - physical, emotional and spiritual – but I was now convinced that the name of Jesus is strong enough to break every chain.
Within a few moments of entering the House of Prayer, I was moved almost to tears by a sense of God's presence. I had been so thirsty for an outpouring of His Spirit in my heart like this for many weeks, and it was as if God was saying, “Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters, and you who have no money, come, buy and eat!...Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and you will delight in the richest of fare” (Isaiah 55:1-2). That verse held special meaning for me because just the day before I had joined a friend for Afternoon Tea at the Intercontinental Hotel overlooking Victoria Harbour. It was a new and unusual experience for me, but the flavours of the sandwiches, scones, and perfect desserts gave me a whole new understanding of what the “richest of fare” actually tastes like. I wished each flavour could linger in my mouth forever, and yet knew that the next one would be just as delicious. Unfortunately, those flavour lasted only a moment. Now, here I was at the House of Prayer, and God was again redefining my ideas about “the richest of fare” – this time with something eternal. I was drawn in to the atmosphere of worship that had been established in this place, and God drew me into some precious moments of intimacy with Himself.
But this is not where the story begins. To fully explain the importance of this time with the Lord, I must go back to July of this year, to Miller Lake Camp, to a time of listening to teaching called “The Dream Giver” and asking God to clarify the call He has placed on my life. At that time, God placed the nation of India on my heart. I remember drawing its outline in my journal (and I'm not usually an artist) and writing the words, “Freedom for the captives” over its image. In that moment and throughout that week, I carried a burden for those who are oppressed – not just in India, but in every nation. At another time that week, I could literally see in my mind's eye a young woman who had been taken and was being used and abused as a sex slave. I put myself in her shoes and thought, “If I was her, I would want someone to come and rescue me.” And so, I have carried this burden for those who are burdened, especially men, women and children who are enslaved around the world. God clarified my vision that week – it became a burning desire to “set captives free,” just as Jesus declared in Luke 4. I didn't know what form that would take, but God's call was confirmed when I went home and my mom “just happened” to give me the book Amazing Grace. It tells the story of William Wilberforce, a man of God who worked and prayed for the end of the slave trade in Great Britain 200 years ago. I was inspired to believe that slavery could also end today – impossible as it may seem, with God all things are possible.
A sense of peace and purpose had settled into my heart after this time at Miller, but questions remained: How do I do something a problem this big? Where do I start? What part do I play? I decided learning was a good place to start, and so I started investigating online. The only website I'd heard of on this issue was “Stop the Traffik,” and so I started there. I don't think it was any accident that on my first visit to that site I stumbled into the “newsroom” and this headline caught my eye: “24-7 Prayer Movement Commits to a Prayer Vigil for Stop the Traffik”. As I read this, something resounded in my heart to say that, “Yes, this is the answer. Prayer is what will move these mountains.” But I kept exploring and kept learning – to inform my prayers, but also to see if God would show me anything more about what to do. I have spent the last few months reading and wondering, and occasionally praying about this topic. I waver back and forth between activism and ineptitude – feeling useless and unable to make a change. Still, I carry this burden and have a sense that God is calling me into something deeper in this global issue.
I carried this question to Hong Kong: “What's my role in all of this?” I have had much time to explore the Scriptures on this issue of slavery now, and am amazed by how often God set Himselfs up as the “defender of orphans and widows.” He desclares Himself to be the one who brings “freedom for the captives” and offers “release to the oppressed.” I have become increasingly aware that this battle is not mine, it is the Lord's. I have also been given the book Not for Sale (another NOT random gift), and the first few chapters tugged at my emotions. The last one I read enraged my spirit. It described a spiritual ceremony that a group of sex slaves was forced to participate in before a night of “work,” offering their bodies to a totem pole. The women who told this story after being freed admitted that even if they could have escaped from their human master, they were afraid of the evil spirit that was also involved. As I read this story, I saw clearly the spiritual forces of evil that are behind sexual sin, the sex trade, human trafficking, and every form of oppression. I recognized that this battle was not against flesh and blood, but against principalities and powers. Our weapons are not of this world, but are supernatural. One of our key weapons is prayer – not weak, hopeful prayers, but strong, confident prayers of faith that invite God's kingdom to come to earth and His will to be done here as it is in heaven.
What I knew in my head for a very long time was soon to become an experience of my heart. On Saturday, November 14, I spent some time praying with an older sister in Christ. We hadn't met to pray for big issues in the world, but instead, to pray through some issues in my heart. For many years (almost as long as I can remember), I have constantly compared myself to others. If I saw something they were doing and admired it, I would immediately try to figure out how to be like them. I remember being at a slumber party in 7th grade, where a bunch of my friends were putting on makeup and doing their nails. I hadn't had much interest in that kind of stuff before, but I realized in that moment that “everyone else” knew what they were doing, and I didn't. I felt so foolish and was angry that no one had taught me this important thing about life. I felt like I should have known, but I didn't. On the other hand, sometimes I would know what I was doing and I'd feel confident about it. Since school came easily to me, I would often pridefully compare my own work to others' and congratulate myself on a job well done. That was the story of my life, in countless circumstances: “I don't know, so I must not be good as others,” or, “I know, so I must be better than others.” Never was I satisfied, and knowing that God commands us not to compare ourselves with others (Gal. 6:9) only did a little to alleviate my struggle – sometimes it increased it because I would feel bad from comparing myself to others and feel worse from condemnation because I HAD compared myself to others.
I have believe that Jesus came to set us free, and that He is able to change me and make me “whole and holy” (in the words of John Eldredge). This sister was meeting with me to pray for truth to be revealed to my heart, not just my mind, and to see His truth “set me free.” We talked and prayed for most of the afternoon, and the Holy Spirit worked in an amazing way to reveal truth to my heart. I confessed my sin of pride and honestly poured out my anger at “not knowing” to Jesus (who knows everything and therefore should have filled me in one some of these important things!). In that time of prayer, the Holy Spirit showed me that I needed to surrender my “need to know” to Jesus. I did, and then He also asked me to surrender my “checklist” of things I knew I could do well – the ammunition for judging others. I did, and then the Holy Spirit put a picture in my mind: I was like a little girl, and Jesus was carrying me. He told me as He carried me that all I really needed to know was His love. That's why He didn't tell me all the rest – about how to put on makeup so others would accept me, about how to say the right things or have the right attitude so I wouldn't ever be awkward or embarrassed – those things weren't important. What was important, and still is, is knowing with confident assurance that, no matter what, I am loved. This made so much sense to me – Jesus' love is more than enough. I don't have to strive for attention and approval because my King and Dad already loves me with all His heart. His eyes are on me. Just as He appeared to Hagar in Genesis and said, “I am the God who sees you,” He said to me, “I am the God who sees you.” In the picture of the little girl in my mind, I could see her wanting to be free and dance with joy, but she was still a little bit afraid. She was afraid of not knowing what to do, but also of losing this love that she had found. But as she looked into Jesus' eyes and saw the depths of His love, she gained confidence to step out and dance. She was timid at first, often looking back to see if He was watching. Of course, His gaze never left His precious daughter, and His eyes met hers each time she glanced His way. The more often she saw the love in His yes, the more confidence she gained until gradually she was dancing freely. I realized that this little girl was me: I had been timid and afraid, but I could be confident in His great love for me. His love had nothing to do with my skill – with how well I was dancing or whether I knew the steps – and everything to do with His grace and mercy. In this way, God spoke to me and set me free from fears that had held me captive for such a long time. I had been a slave to this, and God set me free.
I don't believe it was any accident that later on that same day, I had my first opportunity to speak publicly about God's desire to set the captives free. Slavery has so many forms - physical, emotional and spiritual – but I was now convinced that the name of Jesus is strong enough to break every chain.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Typhoon Melor
If it weren't for the fact that my sleep was disrupted by rattling windows from 5 am - 7am this morning, I might never have known that I just experienced Typhoon Melor. We've known for a while that it was coming, but I didn't quite know what to expect from a typhoon (besides lots of wind and rain). Well, it turns out that's exactly what to expect. When I woke up from the wind this morning and looked outside, I felt like I was watching the news about some major tropical storm that hit Asia. Except, I was living in Asia and this wasn't the news; it was happening in my neighbourhood. I wish I had taken a picture but I don't really think the view would have been that great through the waterfall rushing down and against my window. I opened my sliding door to move some things on the balcony that looked dangerously ready to fly away, and I could see trees bending and being blown viciously by the wind, while the rain jerked in blizzard-like waves as it fell to the ground. I shut the door and retreated inside, reflecting on the peaceful sanctuary we have created for ourselves.
If I was in a poorer country, this same storm would be incredibly dangerous. A shack would offer little protection against these violent gusts of wind, and flooding would be a much greater concern if I didn't live 4 stories off the ground. I am thankful for the 4 sturdy walls that surround me, and filled with compassion for those who are not so blessed. I am reminded of William Wilberforce's words about riches: "we are to value them chiefly not as instruments of luxury or splendor, but as affording the means of honouring our heavenly Benefactor, and lessening the miseries of mankind." (A Practical View of Christianity by William Wilberforce) I am praying today that God will show me exactly how I can use the riches He has given me to honour Him and "lessen the miseries of mankind."
But just as the storm (or the Spirit) has stirred in me compassion, a different kind of worship is also stirring. I think perhaps it is true awe and fear of God. The power of the storm was incredible, and yet I have a deep sense that its power is nothing compared to His. When I climbed Mount Ontake last week, the beauty was astounding, and yet that is nothing compared to His beauty. When I read passages or sing songs about God's ability to "move the mountains," I now have a picture of what that means. A whole mountain is a big, heavy, monstrous piece of rock. Who can move that? God can. What kind of God is that? A very great God.
And so, I love the storm because of what it shows me about my Maker and my Friend. But I love the storm for one more thing: the way it refreshes the earth. The sky is clearer now than ever, the air is fresh and clean, and it feels like the whole city has been given a bath. Here, I think, is another parable: it is only God's power that can truly wash our hearts clean. We have destroyed ourselves with our sin and rebelled in the face of a great God, and yet in His goodness He came to earth, took the punishment for our sin, and made a way for us to be cleaned, refreshed, and restored to Himself. Now that is a beautiful thing.
If I was in a poorer country, this same storm would be incredibly dangerous. A shack would offer little protection against these violent gusts of wind, and flooding would be a much greater concern if I didn't live 4 stories off the ground. I am thankful for the 4 sturdy walls that surround me, and filled with compassion for those who are not so blessed. I am reminded of William Wilberforce's words about riches: "we are to value them chiefly not as instruments of luxury or splendor, but as affording the means of honouring our heavenly Benefactor, and lessening the miseries of mankind." (A Practical View of Christianity by William Wilberforce) I am praying today that God will show me exactly how I can use the riches He has given me to honour Him and "lessen the miseries of mankind."
But just as the storm (or the Spirit) has stirred in me compassion, a different kind of worship is also stirring. I think perhaps it is true awe and fear of God. The power of the storm was incredible, and yet I have a deep sense that its power is nothing compared to His. When I climbed Mount Ontake last week, the beauty was astounding, and yet that is nothing compared to His beauty. When I read passages or sing songs about God's ability to "move the mountains," I now have a picture of what that means. A whole mountain is a big, heavy, monstrous piece of rock. Who can move that? God can. What kind of God is that? A very great God.
And so, I love the storm because of what it shows me about my Maker and my Friend. But I love the storm for one more thing: the way it refreshes the earth. The sky is clearer now than ever, the air is fresh and clean, and it feels like the whole city has been given a bath. Here, I think, is another parable: it is only God's power that can truly wash our hearts clean. We have destroyed ourselves with our sin and rebelled in the face of a great God, and yet in His goodness He came to earth, took the punishment for our sin, and made a way for us to be cleaned, refreshed, and restored to Himself. Now that is a beautiful thing.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Why it's OK (but not recommended) to lose your purse in Japan
So, sometimes I'm forgetful and lose track of where I put things, but it's been a long time since I've lost my purse. That's something I used to do when I was around 10 (and maybe 15), but not since I've turned 20. At least, not until last Sunday. (Oh wait, I did lose my wallet once a few years ago, but that was because it fell out of the door of the van. And that's another story--but I did get it back.)
Anyway...last Sunday evening I went out to dinner with a couple of friends, and I was riding the train back home with Jenn (a fearless adventurer). We were having a great conversation. Our conversation continued as we walked the two blocks from the station to my apartment, and kept going as we mounted two of the four flights of stairs. But then, I realized it: my keys were in my purse, and my purse was...NOT in my hand. It HAD to be back at the train station...or on the train. I froze, not knowing what to do, but Jenn was practical and said, "Let's go get it."
We turned around to walk back to the station through the rain, realizing that we would need to get a Japanese speaker on the phone to be able to explain the situation to the train attendant. Thankfully, our friend Haruna was available, and she heard the whole story and then was ready to translate for us when we arrived at the station. We found an attendant and offered him the phone, to talk to Haruna. She explained the situation and then...he asked that we come with him to the next station. We were hoping he could call someone to find out if the purse had been left on the train, but there was a little bit of a hitch.
The train we'd been riding was the Linimo, which proudly proclaims itself to be "a fully automated train." Translation: no conductor on the train, station attendants only at select stations, and a free opportunity for any passenger on the train to pick up my purse and walk away with it. There was no way of knowing if my purse was on the train (or if it would come back with the train) until the "fully automated train" went to the end of its line and then returned to our station. Having nothing else to do, we waited, and prayed. Then, we celebrated the honesty of the people of Japan, and of God's protection over little things - my purse arrived back with the train. My cell phone, camera and wallet (complete with ID cards) were untouched. I was, uh, pretty thankful. :)
Anyway...last Sunday evening I went out to dinner with a couple of friends, and I was riding the train back home with Jenn (a fearless adventurer). We were having a great conversation. Our conversation continued as we walked the two blocks from the station to my apartment, and kept going as we mounted two of the four flights of stairs. But then, I realized it: my keys were in my purse, and my purse was...NOT in my hand. It HAD to be back at the train station...or on the train. I froze, not knowing what to do, but Jenn was practical and said, "Let's go get it."
We turned around to walk back to the station through the rain, realizing that we would need to get a Japanese speaker on the phone to be able to explain the situation to the train attendant. Thankfully, our friend Haruna was available, and she heard the whole story and then was ready to translate for us when we arrived at the station. We found an attendant and offered him the phone, to talk to Haruna. She explained the situation and then...he asked that we come with him to the next station. We were hoping he could call someone to find out if the purse had been left on the train, but there was a little bit of a hitch.
The train we'd been riding was the Linimo, which proudly proclaims itself to be "a fully automated train." Translation: no conductor on the train, station attendants only at select stations, and a free opportunity for any passenger on the train to pick up my purse and walk away with it. There was no way of knowing if my purse was on the train (or if it would come back with the train) until the "fully automated train" went to the end of its line and then returned to our station. Having nothing else to do, we waited, and prayed. Then, we celebrated the honesty of the people of Japan, and of God's protection over little things - my purse arrived back with the train. My cell phone, camera and wallet (complete with ID cards) were untouched. I was, uh, pretty thankful. :)
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Easter Weekend
Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday are two of my favorite days of the whole year because of their significance to the Christian faith, and this year was especially beautiful. On Good Friday, I shared a quiet day with my roommate except for a brief picnic at the park with 2 other close friends. We sat under the sakura (cherry blossoms) and enjoyed good laughs and good talks, while we remembered together the sacrifice Christ made when He died for our sins. We celebrated life as we made a goofy exercise video by the pond (which I will probably be embarrassed about someday), and then biked home to relax until our church's Good Friday service began.
I've been playing piano on our church's worship team recently, and it has been a lot of fun playing for the last two weeks because there is a new electric guitar player who has joined the team. Before, our team had a really acoustic sound so it's been a fun challenge to adjust our sound and mesh as a group with a new instrument and different feel. The Good Friday and Easter services stick out in my mind for the musical challenge and the enjoyment of playing with a truly talented team.
Of course, there was also a much more “spiritual” side to the service, and on both Good Friday and Easter Sunday I was blown away to be reminded of the depth of God's love. He knows that I mess up, make mistakes, and throw sin in His face, but He STILL loves me. He STILL accepts me. I'm being reminded over and over again that Christianity is not about a list of You should... but a statement that He did...
As one of my friends on facebook said, Easter is “Remembering the immense.”
the immense love of God for sinners
the immense sacrifice that Christ made by laying down his life
the immense gift that I am given when I receive Christ as my Savior
the immense opportunity to share this love with a world that desperately needs a message of grace
I've been playing piano on our church's worship team recently, and it has been a lot of fun playing for the last two weeks because there is a new electric guitar player who has joined the team. Before, our team had a really acoustic sound so it's been a fun challenge to adjust our sound and mesh as a group with a new instrument and different feel. The Good Friday and Easter services stick out in my mind for the musical challenge and the enjoyment of playing with a truly talented team.
Of course, there was also a much more “spiritual” side to the service, and on both Good Friday and Easter Sunday I was blown away to be reminded of the depth of God's love. He knows that I mess up, make mistakes, and throw sin in His face, but He STILL loves me. He STILL accepts me. I'm being reminded over and over again that Christianity is not about a list of You should... but a statement that He did...
As one of my friends on facebook said, Easter is “Remembering the immense.”
the immense love of God for sinners
the immense sacrifice that Christ made by laying down his life
the immense gift that I am given when I receive Christ as my Savior
the immense opportunity to share this love with a world that desperately needs a message of grace
Happy Birthday to Me!
I stumbled drearily out of my bedroom early Monday morning. I didn't remember it was my birthday until a few minutes later when my roommate walked out of her room with a gift bag. “Here – your mom left this for you,” she said. What a beautiful start to the day! And it only got better as I leafed through the cards later that night. I was crying happy tears as I read the notes from friends and family from home, so blessed that they would remember me and take the time to write to me on my birthday. Facebook was full of more sweet surprises, as friends that I haven't heard from in a while left birthday wishes on my wall.
I had a truly WONDERFUL 25th birthday! Whether it was going out for dinner with friends, sharing dessert with other April birthday buddies, or reading cards from family & friends far away, I was SO blessed to have people express their love and care for me. All I can say is a huge THANK YOU!
I had a truly WONDERFUL 25th birthday! Whether it was going out for dinner with friends, sharing dessert with other April birthday buddies, or reading cards from family & friends far away, I was SO blessed to have people express their love and care for me. All I can say is a huge THANK YOU!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)